From the Locker Room to the Classroom: Helping Athletes Adapt Socially
One of the biggest things I’ve noticed with my son’s transition is how different the social side feels for him.
On the ice or in the locker room, he always knew his role. The chirping, the competitiveness, the inside jokes - it was all normal there, even bonding. That’s the world he grew up in.
But now, in a classroom or on campus, those same habits don’t always land the same way. A sarcastic comment that would have gotten laughs with teammates might sound harsh to kids who don’t speak “locker room.” That confidence he had with his team doesn’t automatically transfer when he’s trying to make new friends.
It’s like he’s had to learn a whole new playbook for social life.
Why It’s Tough
I think for our kids it’s especially hard because:
They’ve always had a built-in friend group - their team. Suddenly, they’re starting from scratch.
The way they joke or connect with teammates doesn’t always translate in a new setting.
Even the most confident athlete can feel awkward and out of place when they’re not in their sport.
How We Can Help (Without Hovering 😉)
I’m learning that my role isn’t to fix it but to encourage him through it. A few things that seem to help:
Reminding him that not everyone “gets” locker room humor.
Encouraging him to just listen and notice how others interact before diving in.
Letting him know that it’s normal to feel awkward at first-everyone’s trying to find their place).
The Bigger Picture
I keep reminding myself - and him -that he doesn’t need to change who he is. He just needs to figure out how to bring the best of himself into new spaces. That same humor, energy, and competitiveness that made him a great teammate can make him a great friend and leader too. It just takes time.
For Us Moms and Dads
Honestly? Sometimes I want to step in, smooth it over, and save him from the uncomfortable moments. But I’m realizing those awkward situations are where he grows. My job is to be his safe place, not his fixer.
What about you? Have you noticed your son or daughter struggling to find their footing socially once sports weren’t the center of their world?
— Alison
I have a neice who is totally invollved in running. She is in Highschool and spends hours a day,just like you ssaid, doing nothing except with her team. Hours running and doing whatever made her team ahead. I did not understand what was happening, but heard when she didn'T take the time, to eat a meal. She only ate a mall amount because eating too much would make her too smell. As a 9th grader she weighed 63lbs., her body was shutting down...she ended in a special place because she had to learn to eat again and get her body to learn it's parts again. She had to stop running, but was only able to visit, talk to,spend time with her running team. She now is pushing herself to learn how to smile and talk to the other students. It is very slow, but I had her mother read your Beyond the Ice, so far, and she has a better understanding if how to have helpful conversations with her daughter, who is slowing learning how to enjoy her classmates, and other school kids. She is relaxing with other kids, and people.
Thank you!! I am so happy my sister was able to get the help she needed!
Cynthia C.
What a wonderful help for me to understand what is going on with my daughter, lives a volley ball life!!Love it!