When Billeting Goes Wrong (and When It Goes Right)
Most people hear about the beautiful billet stories- the ones where the player becomes like family and everyone stays close for years. And those stories are real. We’ve had that. But there’s another side too, and it’s not as easy to talk about. Some kids end up in homes that just aren’t right for them, and it can be heartbreaking- especially as a parent watching from far away, unable to help.
My son once had a billet family who would eat all of the food he bought for himself. When he tried to hide a few things so it would last longer, they yelled at him for “sneaking food.” He was only 15 - trying to stay respectful, trying not to get anyone mad at him-and I remember sitting at home just feeling helpless.
He liked to work out at night when the gym was quiet, but his billet family didn’t believe that’s where he was going. They thought he was sneaking out and reported him to his coach. Can you imagine how that must have felt? He was just trying to keep a routine, and suddenly he’s being questioned for it.
And he’s not the only one. I know players who’ve been in billet situations so bad they’d ask if they could stay with us - even if it meant sleeping on our couch. They just needed somewhere that felt safe. These are kids, far from home, some from other countries- under pressure to perform, and trying to keep it together. It’s a lot.
Sometimes, it’s not that billet families are bad people. I think a lot of them just don’t realize what these boys really need. They’re not signing up to rent a room-they’re signing up to care about someone else’s child. Some families do it for the tickets or the little stipend, and maybe they underestimate how much emotional energy it really takes.
Other times, it’s just a bad fit. Personalities clash, routines don’t line up, or expectations aren’t clear. But in the end, it’s the player who feels it the most.
Here is a link to some Billet Family Nightmares for you to read for your entertainment.
Now, I’ll be honest - when we first started billeting, I didn’t know what I was doing either. My kids were still little, and life was busy. There were probably nights I didn’t cook enough or forgot something important because I was juggling so much. But those boys… they became part of our family.
My daughter suddenly had big brothers, and they had a little sister. We laughed around the table, celebrated birthdays, and cheered each other on. To this day, we still call them “our boys.” We keep in touch. We check in. They’ll always be part of us.
That’s what happens when billeting goes right. It becomes something more than hockey — it becomes family.
I’ve seen both sides of it. The good homes, the bad ones, and everything in between. The good ones change lives — for the player and for the family. The bad ones leave marks. But every experience, even the hard ones, has taught me that what matters most is empathy.
These boys leave home to chase a dream. The least we can do is make sure they feel safe and cared for while they do it. Because every player out there… is somebody’s whole world.