The Party Scene: When Competitiveness Meets College Freedom
"Nearly half of college athletes report binge drinking -compared to a third of non-athletes. The freedom can feel overwhelming."
One of the things I wasn’t fully prepared for when my son started college hockey was how the “off the ice” culture collides with the freedom he suddenly has.
Hockey culture (and really, most sports) is built on competitiveness, toughness, and camaraderie. On the ice, those things are strengths. In the locker room, chirping and joking are part of how they bond. But in a college social scene — where there’s drinking, late nights, and no real curfew — that same competitiveness can sometimes spill over in ways that get them in trouble.
Why It Happens
When athletes grow up in a world that’s so structured, they don’t always get a lot of practice making choices completely on their own. Add in:
New freedom: no coach checking curfew.
Parties and alcohol: plenty of chances to test limits.
Competitiveness: the same “go hard or go home” mentality they use in sports can slide right into drinking, dares, or arguments.
And the stats show it’s not just my son. In one study, 47% of college athletes reported binge drinking in the past two weeks, compared to 32% of non-athletes. And the NCAA’s most recent survey found that 71.7% of student-athletes used alcohol in the past year — with hockey ranking among the highest sports for heavy drinking.
So yeah, it’s common. But common doesn’t make it easy to watch.
What It Looks Like (From the Mom Side)
The first time I heard about my son snapping back at someone after a few drinks, my stomach dropped. That’s not him, I thought. But then I realized - this is the only playbook he’s ever known. On a team, chirping back might get a laugh. Off the ice, in a dorm or at a party, it doesn’t land the same way.
What I Remind Myself
It’s normal. College is full of kids testing boundaries - not just athletes.
It’s not failure. Mistakes are part of figuring out who they are outside of sports.
They have the tools. The same discipline and resilience that made them good athletes can help them grow through these challenges too.
The Bigger Picture
This new freedom can be overwhelming, but it’s also where so much of the growth happens. Our kids aren’t going to get everything right - none of us did at that age. But each misstep teaches them something important.
And maybe our role isn’t to shield them from every mistake, but to be steady enough that when they do stumble, they know they can come home, regroup, and try again.
Parents, what about you? Have you seen your son or daughter test limits in social situations once sports weren’t running their whole lives? How did you handle it?
— Alison